


Forget-Me-Not

by hmsonny



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 00:30:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17436422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmsonny/pseuds/hmsonny
Summary: "You made flowers grow in my lungs; and although they're beautiful, I'm struggling to breathe."





	Forget-Me-Not

It started as a gentle ache in your stomach that over time appeared and disappeared, however every time easily soothed by honey tea and occasional sips of water. For a month it disappeared altogether, giving you time to relax and take comfort in the fact you were going to be okay, before returning with an evil vengeance soon after. On its return, it hit you in the middle of the night, at the Christmas party Winwin was hosting.

Johnny and Ten had so diligently hung frosty white fairy lights that snaked throughout the garden, along the fences and spiralled around the trunks of trees, before splaying out through the branches like fallen stars dusting the leaves. Bunting had also been put up, laced from tree to tree, floating softly above your head as you walked out into Winwin’s back garden. Everyone begun arriving soon after you, and by the time midnight came the music was loud, muffled softly by the speaker it was coming from, and the comforting buzz of conversation fluttered around you. That was when Jaemin showed up.

He walked through the house and instantly broke in to a smile when he stepped outside and saw Jeno. Both of them launched themselves at each other happily, their arms engulfing one another in a huge hug, making you giggle fondly at the playful boisterous nature of them that you’d grown to love over the years. Jaemin especially, as you’d known him all your life; you’d grown up with him by your side. That’s why when he turned and spotted you, his eyes begun glowing brighter than the stars in the sky, outshining the fairy lights that twinkled around you. You felt the ache rise slowly in the pit of your stomach again, strangely. 

“Hey, love!” Jaemin exclaimed, grinning that same beautiful smile that spread across his entire face and made his entire being gleam. He wrapped his arms around you, and with that your stomach clenched. You tried with all your might to conceal the pain, and it seemed to have worked, because Jaemin slipped his arms away from your waist and offered to grab you a drink. 

You agreed quickly, watching him walk to the drink table in the far corner of the garden and begin mixing a cocktail for a split second before sprinting to the toilet inside, where you fell to your knees, grimacing at the pain that surged through your body. The pain sourced from the core of your stomach and swiftly dispersed through your veins; all you could do was gasp, cough, splutter, as you gripped the edges of the toilet seat and heaved, unable to take any real breaths. With one hefty, hoarse cough, it landed in the water. 

A red rose petal; love.

You huffed at the sight of it, pulling your sleeve down and dragging it across your face. “I get it.” You groaned to yourself. Of course you were in love with Jaemin. Anyone who had a single brain cell could see it. Except of course, Jaemin himself. Leaning against the wall, you attempted to get your breath back, breathing heavily and reminding yourself everything would be okay. Love wasn’t such a bad thing… right? 

“Red petal, huh.” You jumped at Haechan’s voice that came from the doorway, leaping up with great urgency and slamming the toilet seat down. “I won’t tell him, but he has to know if this is going to stop.” He followed up. 

“I know.” You replied, Haechan pulling you in for a hug. He held you there for a few long moments. “But he’s my best friend.” You whispered into his neck, choking on your words and heaving once again as the breath in your lungs disappeared completely. “I’m too scared.” Before you could let your tears escape the prison of your body, Jaemin’s voice begun echoing down the hallway; he was calling your name and asking where you’d gotten to. Haechan dropped his arms, before placing his hands on your shoulders and giving you a comforting half-smile, to which you simply nodded. You slid past him, letting him enter the bathroom. “I’m here, sorry Jaems.” 

For the few days following the Christmas party, all you could think of were the words Haechan ha spoken to you. “I won’t tell him, but he has to know if this is going to stop.” He was right. You’d only continue feeling like this if your love never had the chance to reciprocate. Coincidentally enough, the perfect opportunity soon befell Jaemin only a week later.

Time was rapidly escaping you when you woke on Boxing Day. You could feel the heaviness of the flowers in your lungs, and when you spotted a text from Jeno lighting up your phone, you groaned. Heaving your body up was painful beyond any words. It felt as though someone had slipped a knife in to the centre of your torso, and pulled it out with violent rage soon after; rose petals spilling from the wound. You opened Jeno’s text. 

[7:09 AM]  
Hey! Winwin is taking Haechan, Jaemin and I down to Han River this afternoon if you want to come? It would be great to see you again! -Jen x

In a split second, you responded.

[7:10 AM]  
Sure, I’d love to tag along! Let me know the details! X

So it was set. You hopped off the bus at Han River Station and there they were. Haechan caught your eye first, snapping his baseball cap on to his head while subtly making knowing, yet reassuring eye contact with you - eye contact that almost said ‘you have to do this, for both of you’. Jaemin’s face lit up when he saw you, but when he hugged you, you found it hard to reciprocate. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, holding your shoulders and staring in to your eyes.

It was hurting again. A pain so intense your head begun spinning and the world around you blurred. Jaemin shook you, but you took off. You ran down the path, slamming the door of the public toilet behind you as you once again dropped to your knees. This time the flurry was more prolific, you couldn’t breathe at all, your attempts at doing so becoming laboured and your throat crackly and uncomfortable. Your body felt heavy and your ears were ringing, a harsh pain clawing through your insides as you wheezed.

Deep purple petals; unrequited love.

“Unrequited?” You spluttered, your eyes fluttering open and shut as you struggled to keep them open. Not once had Jaemin ever given any indication that he was in love with someone else. This thought sent your mind into overdrive; he didn’t have to share every detail of his love life with you, but you couldn’t help but remember the time when you were kids, sitting up in the tree house you’d built and promising to keep one another filled in. “No secrets! Best friends forever!” You’d vowed to each other that day.

You flushed, leaving the toilet looking drained. Jaemin ran over to you as soon as he saw you. “What happened? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you sick?” Question after questioned fell from his bright, silky pink lips, each one a knife to your lungs and stomach. All you managed was a quick shake of your head.

“Just travel sickness, Jaems. I’m okay.” You lifted one side of your mouth in an unconvincing smile, catching Haechan’s eye as you walked toward the station’s exit. He willed you on, raising his eyebrows and nodding his head slowly.

By the end of the day, it was safe to say you were exhausted. Everything hurt, your body was heavy and you could feel the roots slithering their way up, flowers continuing to bloom in your lungs and snatch the breath away before you could breath it. What happened as you got on to the bus was something you never would have foreseen in all your years of knowing Jaemin. He gave you a long hug goodbye. Something lurched in your stomach as you hugged him back, peering over his shoulder at Haechan; maybe it was fear, maybe it was love. 

You took his hand into yours and walked him away - it was clear Haechan had already informed Winwin and Jeno what was happening, they looked at you with worried expressions as you distanced from them. There you stood, looking out over Han River, Jaemin’s hand in yours. “This is where we first met.” You spoke, feeling his gaze burning in to the side of your face as you looked across the dazzling water. The sun was setting gradually, casting golden rays that shimmered prettily atop the water.

“Sure is, love, but why did you brin-” He was interrupted by an awful cough that forced its way out of you. “Something’s up.” He concluded sternly, tightening his grip on your hand and taking you to the bench only a few metres back. You both sat, you hunched over as he placed a hand on your back, moving it in slow, careful circles. “Tell me what’s been going on.” He urged you, such an amiable tone in his speech.

“Jaems I-” You fumbled over your words. “I don’t even know how to say it.”

“Just do, please. I want to help you.” 

You scuffed at his words, knowing what he would have to do in order to save you.

“I’m in love with you, Jaemin. Hopelessly and inexplicably in love with you. Ever since we became friends I felt as though something special was there.” As you spoke Jaemin’s lips parted and his jaw begun to drop. “Your eyes are the most breathtaking I’ve ever seen; constellations of stars glow in them every time we make eye contact. Your heart is made of gold and it’s gold that I wish I could take in my hands and protect for the rest of eternity-” Jaemin scooted himself back on the bench as you sat up, withdrawing his hands and slamming them down either side of him as your breath hitched and you lurched forward on to the ground.

A blanket of indescribable pain threw itself over you. All you could feel was hurt. You were screaming, your throat scratching and scraping as you yelled in agony. Jaemin was panicking, flicking his head from side to side and gaping at your writhing body. Miniscule, blue-purple petals were spilling around you.

Blue-purple petals, forget-me-nots.

Hours later you lay in the hospital bed, waking up gradually and squinting at the overwhelming brightness of the room. You felt lighter, like a feather. But you also felt strange, something was off… and it frustrated you that you couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. That’s when the door opened slowly, Haechan peeping his head through the gap, followed soon after by Winwin and Jeno; who had the most genuinely happy smile on his face.

“You’re awake!” He clapped as he ran to your bedside and cuddled you. Winwin and Haechan followed suit, pressing friendly kisses on your forehead.

“They removed the flowers.” Winwin spoke up, standing at the foot of your bed. “The roots went right through your system, you nearly died…” His voice squeaked as he tried not to cry. You laughed at Winwin’s sudden voice crack, causing them to freeze. 

“What?” You asked.

“We haven’t seen you laugh like that in literally years.” Haechan spoke, a smile rising on his lips. Jeno coughed. 

“What is it?” Winwin asked, glaring at him in concern.

“Uh.. hey,” Jeno turned to face you, taking his hand in yours. “Jaemin wanted to come visit you but he was called in to record today.” He said, almost hesitantly.

You racked your brain, mentally sifting through every person you knew and had know, but the name Jaemin… seemed distant. Almost familiar, but in an ‘I probably saw a character called Jaemin in a book once’ kind of way. 

“Who?” You sniggered. “I don’t… I don’t know anyone called Jaemin.” Time stopped, the room dropping in to a heavy and uncomfortable silence in which you could only hear the monotonous beeping of your heart rate monitor and the ticking of the clock. Jeno broke the silence by forcing a laugh.

“I’m just kidding!” He said, subtly signalling the others to laugh with him; they did, and so did you.

Jaemin stood outside the room, staring through the window. His face dropped, his eyes closing as a tear rolled down his eyelash and dripped to the floor. “I’m so sorry.” The doctor spoke. “The roots were so deep, there was no way we could’ve performed the surgery successfully without removing her memory of her loved one too. The head surgeon said we were instructed to do so. You know if these surgeries are never conducted, the victim dies-”

Jaemin nodded, melancholy surging through his veins. He was the one who had instructed them to do so; you being hurt was something he could never envision - he wanted you to stay happy and healthy, living your life just as before… even if that meant he was no longer a part of it. He resided to the toilet in the hallway of the hospital, where a single cough left one pink petal fluttering to the floor.

Pink; loneliness and longing. With no one there to fix it.


End file.
